Two cockroaches were munching
on garbage in a dhaba when one starts a discussion about a new restaurant. "I was in that new restaurant
across the street," said one. "It's so clean and bright! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are sparkling
white. There is no dirt anywhere in the building--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other cockroach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
........
A passenge aeroplane was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin to have the passengers
take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight
attendants if everyone was buckled in and is ready for emergency landing.
"All set back here, Sir," came the reply, "except the lawyers, they are still going around passing out
business cards."
........
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Bangdu jumps out of an aeroplane
with a parachute on his back. As he's falling, he realizes his parachute is broken. He doesn't know anything
about chutes, but as the earth rapidly approaches, he realizes his options are limited; he takes off the
parachute and tries to fix it himself while going down.
The wind is ripping past his face, he's dropping like a rock, and at 5000 feet, he see Jitta goes shooting
up past him. In desperation, the Bangdu with the chute looks up and yells, "Jittey! do you know anything
about parachutes?!"
Jitta looks down and yells, "No, do you know anything about gas stoves?!"
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Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
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If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my statistics class: it would seem so much longer.
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Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
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While waiting for a bus, the
blind man's pet dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's legs. A passer by asked to
the blind man, "What?! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?!
Are you crazy?"
To which the blind man replied, "Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick
him."
........
Northern Railway recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business
trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the Public Relaton department sent out letters to all the wives
of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
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