A friend was in front of me
coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The pastor said, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend said, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
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Do you know the three times that most people are in church?
When they are hatched, matched and dispatched.
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Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has
water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the pool."
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Some race horses were staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his race track record. "In
the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"
Another horse said in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"
"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his heavy tail.
At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening to them. "I don't mean
to boast," says the greyhound dog, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"
The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."
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Jitta went to visit his friend Bangdu and
was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
"I can hardly believe my eyes!" Jitta exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."
"Nah, he's not so smart," Bangdureplied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."
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Don't get married only because of the money. You can borrow it cheaper. (Z. Z. Gabor)
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Due to financial difficulties the light at the end of the tunnel has temporarily been switched off.
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