Three rats are sitting at the
bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.
The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"
The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"
Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Mark Twain)
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A young lawyer, just out of Law School,
was pleading his first case in South Carolina. A train had killed twenty-four pigs, and the young attorney
was trying to impress the jury with the magnitude of the injury.
"Yes, Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, twenty-four pigs. Imagine, twenty-four pigs. Twice the number
there are in the jury box."
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A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to
believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens
at home."
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A young boy about five or six years was talking on the telephone. As his dad listened on, the youngster
told his grandparents dejectedly, "Mom is in the hospital, so the twins and Bantu, Pinki, Rocky, the dog,
and me and Dad are all home alone."
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Once Jitta Singh was visiting his friend
Bangdu, who had a small farm, and during this visit he saw Bangdu feeding pigs in a most extraordinary
manner.
The Bangdu would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly.
The Bangdu would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start
again with another pig.
Jitta Singh watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist
saying to the Bangdu, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think
of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them
from the ground!"
Bangdu looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"
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